roxychick's: to whine & be frank. almost.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

if i were a boy...

... i think i might not have lumps on my breast... (sambil menyanyi macam beyonce)

(no. on a second thought, boys also might have lumps on their breast. a rare case that is.)

before i could proceed, lemme just thank all the commentator, esp. s, who made a come back to the blogging world recently, cik jiran sebelah, cpms, afz, blablaby, cik foxx, miszbeauty (in no particular order) for their thoughts on the dried-out throat o'mine... & my new year.. entries. enough of the being kulit gelap and all, i guess if we're not different, the world would be a dead place to lived in kan.. haha. I HEART ME! yay!

after posted my 1st entry of 2009, baru teringat that the nite before, i detected a lump on my left side breast and mula la tak senang duduk. so, after lunch, i quickly went to the nearest clinic and to my dismay, sebab nak jumpa doktor pompuan punya pasal, benda yang sepatutnya bole settle in 10 minutes, terus jadi 1 hour! sume patients yang datang tu, sume nak jumpa only the female doktor. termasuk la this one guy. ceh.

when it was my turn, i went in and told her about the lump. so, she checked and confirmed that it was a lump, probably this one fibroadenoma to be exact. and more on fibroadenoma, here. pandai2 la nak baca yang mana satu. =p

so, she refered me to the hospital. mula-mula she wrote a referal letter to my gynae, tapi when i went there the next day, my co's insurance co called and told me that i should be refered to a surgeon. OMG sungguh! it was such a long story, membuatkan saya berasa sangat malas untuk bercerita lebih lanjut tentang itu.

oh.. before that, malam tu, since b was very, very sick and after much kejap shivering and kejap panas situation, i brought him to the hospital and he was admitted to the ward. (phew.. lega! i was trying to get rid of him actually.. kalau tak asyik dengar him whining je.. heheh!) and since mama was at sis#1's house, my b-i-l suggested that we also bunked at their house that nite. so, bersempit2la kitorang kat rumah dorang malam tu. and that nite also, from my tido-tido ayam tu, i can hear mama's vomiting, out of pening kepala... (she said that she felt sick cuz it seemed dat everyone oso sakit.. cute!)

so, the next morning, after the co's insurance co refered me to the right person, yakni the surgeon, i waited patiently for the doctor at his clinic (yes. a he doctor checkin' out ma boobies..) masa jumpa tu, as usual, he asked me few questions before proceeding to checking my boobies lumps out. and vaguely (?) confirmed that it's a fibroadenoma.. (the surgeon looked unsure je sebab dia terlampau relaks.. i don't know.. maybe his character is like that or maybe he doesn't want to make me think too much).. so, after filling up piles of papers and some more questions in between, i was sent to have my blood & urine tested and also did an ultrasound. masa nak buat ultrasound, disebabkan ramai orang, i went and visit b at his ward. after an hour or so, i went back to the ultrasound dept and waited again. nak dekat 12 noon barula my name was called.

after the ultrasound, i read the report which was included with the film in the envelope. the radiologist had detected 2 lumps now, one big, measuring at about 1.4cm and the smaller one, at about 0.8cm. and some medical terms that i couldn't understand. uish! memang berdebar2 la jugak. so, i went back to his clinic, to handover the piles of papers and hoping that i could still catch him. but he already left for a meeting la pulak.

after that, the nurse brought me to the pre-admission counter sebab the surgeon has scheduled my surgery to be held on monday morning, so i have to be at the ward a day prior to the surgery. dah abis buat sume tu, i went and visit b one more time, before going back to my b-i-l's house. masa tu dah malas sangat nak pikir, the only thing i wanted was to get some sleep. but i couldn't. i can't help but to only kissed my zaes (he was asleep at that time) over and over again. tah. i have mixed feeling at that time. eventho, the doctor had said that the lumps are the non cancerous ones, but you can never be sure of it la kan? i didn't even feel afraid of the surgery but i feel afraid of losing my strength if the result from the removal surgery comes out the other way round. sigh...

the next day tu, b smsed that he can be discharged already. so, i went and fetch him with zaes. pastu, pegi dentist jap sebab b claimed that his gum was swollen. initially nak keluar jalan-jalan before gi hospital, tapi tak jadi sebab masa balik rumah, my sis#2 nye (insya-Allah) future fiance came and we talked about the merisik event this coming saturday.

at about 6pm, billa (yang still tak baik demam tu), mama & zaes sent me to the hospital. lepas lepak2 lebih kurang, they left me kat single room tu alone, with the nurses constantly checking my blood pressure, body temp and what not. so, masa tengah layan tv sorang-sorang, at about 8 almost 9, my 2 bff, cik naga & her lil dandan, together with ika & hubby came. i was happy to see them after so long tak jumpa.. (and the fact that cik naga sms me day before ajak pegi lunch tapi harap maaf la kan.. dats why she knew about what happened and promised to visit) so we chatted like there's no tomorrow wif lil dandan control handsome at times.. so cute la he!

masa tengah borak-borak tu, of course la about my lumps kan, ada ka cik naga made an assumption yang mungkin m gonna get pregnant again, and that lumps were a sign of pregnancy la apa la.. mesti la tak kan! of course i'm VERY SURE. (esok tu i got my period just before the surgery) rupa-rupanya dia nak cakap yang she's preggie 2nd baby! haha. kantoi.. konon nak sorok (like she did masa 1st baby).. of course i was happy sebab masa mula2 kawen, she had to faced with lots of obstacles to get preggie. now dat  she's waiting for 2nd baby, i couldn't be any happier can i? and to top it off, ika also confirmed her pregnancy after much persuasion from the ever kepoh me! sampai nangis-nangis dia & her hubby.. terharu campur sedih sebab lama menunggu la kot kan... 3 years babe! mesti la menangis cuz their patience have finally paid off..

so, to both of them, selamat menempuh alam pregnancy bersama-sama! i am very happy for the both of you and pray for the safety of your pregnancy & the EDD somewhere this aug/sept, okay?love you guys soo much! and thanks for the encouragement too..

lepas dorang balik, the nite nurse came to me and told me to start fasting from 12 midnite as she slotted in the 'no drink no food' sign under my name slot. by 11ish.. my perut started to growl like an owl (sukati gua la.. it rhymes anyway.. =p) and told the nurse that i badly needed to get something to eat before 12. so i rushed over to the 7-11 opposite the hospital and got a vegetarian mamee express, red bean daifuku and kit kat. bawak balik bilik, makan mamee express sambil layan some singapore ghost story yang tah pape (pelik tul cara pompuan tu narrated the story.. macam robot melayu try cakap english) and i stopped at 12 sharp. then i couldn't help thinking bout the surgery, takleh tido, pastu channel surfing sampai la tertido...

and the day finally comes... i was awaken by the nurse, who told me to prepare myself for the surgery. while waiting for them to cart me away to the OT, i smsed few people (that i can think of at that moment). at about 10am, they brought me to level 1, where the OT was situated. masa kat situ, i have this awkward feeling je sebab all the nurses and assistants sume looked happy and very friendly and very nice la. sangat different ok! yela, maybe it was some psychology thingey they have to put up to so that the patients won't feel nervous or depressed or anything la kot. and masa tunggu my surgeon to come, this chinese male doctor came to me, looking all white.. (as white as a white A4 paper.. haha!)

dr. r: hi, sharifah. i'm dr.r, your anaesthetician. how are you? yada yada.. now i'm gonna give you some syrup which will make you relax. ok. open your mouth... yes. that's it. it feels a lil bit like ginseng. nice. but bitter. ok?

roxy: erk.. ok. erk.. mmm.. errr..

hell yeah it was bitter! and i felt relax too after that. gila ah.. still waiting for the surgeon, i scanned the whole waiting place, looking for a clock and saw one (and it was right in front of me.. duhh!) that showed 10.20 am. pastu, one of the nurses came to me and told me the surgeon dah sampai and we adjourned to OT 6. after they transfered me to the surgery bed, they strapped me and pasted the heart beat reading thingey and at that point, dr. r came back and selak my baju to see my boobies. bole tak.. dia siap asked the nurses to feel them lumps. (ceh. sungguh tak sensitif dr. r ini!) then i saw my surgeon, dr. a came in, talking on the phone very loudly.. (ape daa? this situation is sooo not grey's anatomy ok?!! haha) and lepas he hung up, i heard him said to his nurses (ke interns ke.. tah..),

dr.a: yes, we gonna removed 2 lumps..

then one of them said to me,

nurse: cik roxy, this is an oxygen mask ya..

i nodded and bole rasa dr. r injected something (anaesthetic la tuu..) and with a blink of an eye, i heard voices and when i opened my eyes, voila! i was already at the recovery bay! 

roxy: dah abis ke?
nurse: eh.. dah habis dah.. (while separating the oxygen mask from my face)

i looked around me and saw a boy crying endlessly by his mom and i tried to looked at the clock oso but failed (sebab gua kan rabun..).

roxy: wat time is it now?
nurse: 11. u tunggu jap eh. jap lagi dorang hantar u masuk your room.

after a brief pause..

roxy: bole tengok menda tu tak?
nurse: oh. sure.. nah.
(then she showed me the 2 lumps yang dorang dah transfer dalam 2 botol)


nurse: kita ada amik gambar. nanti kita bagi gambar tu.

double eww.

the crying from the boy became louder and louder and i couldn't help but to asked the nurse.

roxy: kenapa budak tu nangis?
nurse: oh.. dia terkena air panas. 


amazing innit? half an hour ago i was in the OT, tiba2 dah ada kat luar. tak rasa apa-apa langsung (it's the anaesthetic you dum-dum)... but masa tu can feel a lil sengal on my left part of my body la. isk. memang amazement betol.. dah la tak ingat apa-apa lepas nurse letak oxygen mask tu. isk.

masa dorang anta balik bilik (ceh. macam best je kan.. macam hotel room lak), the nurses told me not to move around so much and just to rest and that i'm gonna stay another nite for full recovery. of course la kan, i felt exhausted and very tired out of it but tetap nak amik my mobile, to update certain people. after the smses, i fell asleep sampai ke petang, tersedar pon masa b came (since he was still on medical) wit zaes and mama.

being zaes, he was excited to see me and tried to lenjan on my bed and of course la tak leh kan. nak mampos! mau bentan if he do so ok! then came in a bouquet of flowers from the company for women and lepas borak2 lebih kurang (and mama sempat tido jap), they left and i was all alone again. at 6pm, baru la i can eat and drink again.

just before maghrib, my cousin miya & her hubby, jai, came and visit me. then billa came, with zaes on tow and i showed them the photo of my lumps and they freaked out! haha.

the next morning, as early as 6 am, the surgeon, dr. a came and check my wound. pastu he set the follow up on saturday, probably wanna check on the wound again and also to tell me the lab result of the lumps la kot. so, he told me to pantang, just eat fish and vegetables and said that i can go home and granted a full week of medical leave starting monday (the day of the surgery).

so, i was discharged on tuesday with a whopping helluva hospital bill! nasib baik la ada company benefit. eventho i have my own personal insurance, but just imagine if i don't have any of it.. how la to pay? savings pon lite-lite je... can barter trade wif my m.a.c makeup collection tak? hey.. they're worth thousands tau... hahaha.. =p

and that explains my quietness these few days. nak menaip tu, bukannya takleh.. its just that i have to consider a lot of things before i started to compose and share anything. tapi takpela. i guess sharing is caring and i chose to share my experience for the benefit of (wo)mankind.. uish. gila macam presiden..

so, camtu la. for all women out there, never take this matter lightly. always check your boobies, especially after your menses or before or just simply check them whenever you feel like it. no harm of doing so ok. and don't ever think that even if you lead a healthy life pon, it doesn't mean you won't have lumps on your breast. before tomorrow, the lumps are still non cancerous and i hope it'll stay as it is.. yes. i shivered as i write these sebab nervous nak tau the result. pray for me aite?

and i shall update soonest. insyaAllah.
meanwhile, take care yah!

ye puan-puan sekalian. inilah lumps yang telah selamat dikeluarkan dari my boobies 4 days ago. yang nampak besar tu sebab dia kuar kan daging sket. sangat eww kan? sapa yang baca blog ni time breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper, harap maaf. (ye. "dia" dah cacat sket.. uhuhuhhuuuu..)

Labels: , , , , , , , ,


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home