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an open letter to my lil boy, zaes : part II :

dear zaes,

it's been a year plus since i posted the 1st letter for you in this blog. and for the record, you're the only child for now and still, there's no sign of another pregnancy yet. it's ok because mommey is patiently waiting for it to happen. insyaAllah.

sedar tak sedar, anak mommey dah nak masuk 3 tahun next month. to be exact, masa tu, insyaAllah dah seminggu puasa kot. so i guess, there'll be no celebration la yeh. maybe kita boleh buka puasa kat luar ke.. tengok la macamana ok?

masa zaes was born, mommey berpantang (confinement) dalam bulan puasa. so, bayangkan sebulan mommey tak puasa and until now, mommey tak habis ganti lagi sebab campur dengan year after that punya hari tak puasa. sampai tak keep track of berapa hari yang masih belum ganti. takpelah... i shall do it slowly yeh.

you know zaes, apart from having weird allergies all over my body a month before you see the world (i was very depressed at that time), i was a happy pregnant lady who can't wait to hold you in my arms. i was jovial, emotional sikit, i love to cook, suka mekap and very independent. pergi kerja pon mommey drive sendiri, every day, even if kena kerja on weekend pon mommey drive sendiri. the only day yang mommey tak drive bila keluar jalan-jalan and masa last day before you were born. actually mommey dah terasa braxton hicks few days before that dah. but being a first time mother (and still, i doubt it if i got pregnant again, i'd know if it happens) i thought maybe i was tired carrying huge bellies sampai sakit pinggang.


then came 17th of august 2007, mommey dah tak larat sangat due to the tiredness from the event and what not, so i asked daddy to sent me to the office and balik kerja tu uncle sheik fetched me from the office sebab daddy balik lambat sebab dia ada event kat office. sepatutnya my next appointment dengan gynae was the following week tapi, just to be on the safe side la kan, i told daddy that i want to go for check up next morning regardless pukul berapa pon daddy balik dari office. kesian daddy, dia balik pagi, tapi tidur dalam 2 jam je kot pastu kena bangun balik at 6am sebab nak pergi hospital nak ambil nombor. my gynae's a famous doctor, orang beratur nak jumpa dia that's why daddy kena bangun awal so that dapat nombor awal, boleh jumpa awal and can go back early too...

masa dapat jumpa doktor that 18th of august 2007, she told me that i was already 2cm dilated and that i might be delivering you sooner than my edd, awal seminggu. and she told me to go back first, pergi jalan-jalan and datang balik to the hospital bila rasa betul-betul sakit. of course i was nervous at that time. tapi everything dah prepare lah. so, daddy took me to the summit usj and we had subway sandwich for brunch. then mommey dah tak larat nak jalan lagi, plus daddy pon tak cukup tido, so we went back home and took a nap.

but i couldn't shut my eyes as the contraction gap grew closer. so, i told daddy that i'm ready for the hospital. lepas mommey makan sup tulang yang tok mama masak for lunch that day, lepas mommey solat zuhur, lepas mommey salam cium tangan mintak maaf kat semua orang, mommey and daddy pergi hospital.

it was around 2pm masa tu. sampai sana they brought me to the labour room, tukar baju hospital, bagi ubat to clear whatever in my stomach (read: ubat ajaib supaya senang nak buang air besar.. hahaha), pakaikan CTG straps kat perut mommey to monitor your heart beat and patiently wait for the nurse to come and 'poke' her fingers at my V area to check dah berapa cm dilate tu semua... and in between minutes, contraction makin sakit and kerap. i can't focus and at times i felt like i'm dying ok...

daddy was restless tho because he didn't know what to do or how to console me sebab mommey asyik cakap, "rasa macam nak mati.." lepas my gynae came and broke my water bag, makin sakit la contraction tu! so i just waited and sampai la nak dekat pukul 7.30pm, the nurse checked and told me that you're ready to see the world. uish.. masa tu mommey memang nervous sangat! so the nurse ajar mommey camne nak push tu semua while waiting for the gynae. memang susah sangat sebab mommey try not to lift up my butt sebab ada kawan mommey cakap if angkat jugak nanti terkoyak banyak...

sempat jugak mommey tengok jam kat dinding kat labour room tu masa the gynae came in. it was almost 8pm. at that time i was trying my best to pushed you out of my tummy tapi penatnya Allah je yang tau. so i tried and tried sampai the gynae said, "if tak boleh keluar ni kita kena buat c-sect ya.." masa tu mommey dah gelabah sebab if nak buat c-sect, the fees gonna be ridiculous! upon that, with one push, tiba-tiba zaes pon keluar at 8.11pm and i can hear you cried! lepas they showed you to me, they cleaned me up and the gynae terus congratulated me and said, "ohh.. i cakap pasal c-sect je, terus boleh push ye.." hehehe.. mommey tau zaes taknak mommey bayar banyak-banyak, that's why finally you came out... thanks sayang!


and after the nurses brought me to the ward, i think that was around 8.45 to 9pm kot, mommey terus tido sebab terlampau penat! at 3am mommey terjaga sebab the nurse bawak masuk zaes sebab nak suruh mommey breast feed zaes. mula-mula memang susah since you're still small but mommey paksa jugak sebab my breasts dah bengkak sikit... heh. while bf-ing, mommey borak-borak dengan daddy and decided on your name. eventho we had lists of names before that tapi we didn't even use any of 'em. tiba-tiba mommey cakap kat daddy, meor mirzaeskandar and daddy agreed! hmm.. that was easy!

oh wow.. panjangnya mommey dah tulis. yelah, tiba-tiba mommey teringat and how i missed that moment! now that bila mommey tengok zaes dah nak masuk 3 years old, i realised that zaes akan makin besar dan besar. you are no longer that chubby baby i can hold in one arm. eventho you're small, but mommey dah terasa zaes dah besar sebab bila zaes nak duduk kat seat depan dalam kereta dengan mommey, kaki zaes terjuntai-juntai and if zaes tertidur, mesti badan zaes mengerekot!

sekarang pon dah macam-macam benda zaes dah tau buat. and i'm so ever proud of you eventho mommey suka marah-marah zaes. sebab zaes tu suka sangat buat benda yang bukan-bukan. dah la naughty! tapi mommey always loves you ok. remember that!

you had your major haircut recently. daddy yang potongkan. he did it while i was at the office., so bila dia upload kat facebook, i was ok je lah...

oklah zaes. i need to stop right now. mommey kat office sekarang ni. zaes pulak dah 3 malam tido kat rumah monda sebab tok mama nak lepak kat sana for few days. of course la mommey misses you so much! lepas ni nak telefon zaes la...

i love you sayang mommey!

love, hugs, kisses,
mommey.

Labels: all about zaes

posted by roxychick @ 12:10 PM