sombre and hurt...
Forward yesterday
Makes me wanna stay
What they said was real
Makes me wanna steal
Livin under house
Guess Im livin, Im a mouse
All I got is time
Got no meaning, just a rhyme
Take time with a wounded hand
cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
cause I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
cause it likes to heal, I like to steal
Im half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, Im half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, Im half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, Im half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be
Feelin uninspired
Think Ill start a fire
Everybody run
Bobbys got a gun
Think youre kinda neat
Then she tells me Im a creep
Friends dont mean a thing
Guess Ill leave it up to me
Take time with a wounded hand
cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
cause it likes to heal, I like to steal
Im half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Im half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Im half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Im half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be
Take time with a wounded hand
cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
cause it likes to heal, I like to steal
Im half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Im half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Im half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Im half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be,
Half the man I used to be
creep (half the man i used to be)
by stone temple pilot
am i a creep....?
~sigh~
Labels: stp
end of my misery...
a trip to a panel clinic recommended by a friend, a day of mc and an hour of massaging from a traditional masseuse were enough to rejuvenate my emotions and all these brought back my motivation towards life and the environment. oh yeah.. i think i've recovered! =D
last monday, my skin condition got worse and my level of motivation totally dropped to a negative points. i can't stopped thinking wat wud happen next. my emotions were totally damaged and i didn't even have the appetite to eat. so, i decided to go to this doctor, recommended by a colleague, as the last resort to treat my sorrow. and he revealed that what i'm having now is actually eczema, and it's hereditary. yup! one of my family members ada eczema, asthma and myself ada rhinitis a.k.a sinus, which explains the blocked nose and sneezing.. so.. these 3 stooges mmg saling berkait, kalau tak dapat sume, dapat salah satu.. in my case, since i'm pregnant, the doctor ckp all my allergic reactions akan merembes kuar dlm bentuk... eczema..
memang la my gynae pon said the same thing, cuma at that time, it wasn't as bad. jadi makin teruk sebab i scratched 'em evryday and nite sebab gatal sangat..
so, when the doctor finally dah detect my
mysterious disease, tiba-tiba rasa lega sangat! and at that point, i can see that b's face was glowing and relieved! the doctor prescribed me with antibiotic, ointment, supplement and this body wash, supposedly good for eczema patient.
and after few days on these medications, memang ada tremendous improvement to my skin, especially kat tangan.. scars jangan cerita laa! but, the itchiness dah reduced day by day, only yesterday baru rasa tido yang tak payah garu-garu sangat... hah! lega!!
doktor tu bagi mc on tuesday, and semalam i took half day to get a massage from this traditional masseuse kat taman medan.. oklah.. badan rasa best sket pastu dia siap bagi engage kan kepala baby to its proper place cuz according to her, my baby's head is already
down there, tapi tak proper lagi..
i must thank Allah for the path He has shown me and also His help!
alhamdulillah....
Labels: finally
3-DAY SPECIALS!
17.07.07b went back to his hometown @9++pm and reached usj @12.30am, jez to get dis
daun setawar or its scientific name, kalanchoe pinnata; from his sis. kakak dia blend daun tu and buat macam paste to be applied on my body, together with a bedak sejuk mixture.. before applying them, he gave me the coconut juice from pokok dari rumah dia untuk minum cuz the elderly believes dat air kelapa can cleanse your body from unwanted substances and also good for your unborn baby time nak dekat2 beranak nih.. (abang dia telah mengait buah kelapa pd mlm2 buta itu semata-mata nak bagi saya minum...uhuk! uhuk!)
and so, he applied the concoction onto my tired body and dat nite, i can still sleep but still feel the itchiness, tapi masih bole buat tak tau je laa..
18.07.07went to the office with this awkward body odor. i guess it's the smell of the daun.. during lunch time, i decided to go back to the panel doctor, to get referral letter to the specialist cuz i can't take it anymore! so, i went to sjmc, jumpa this dermatologist, who gave me the same medicine, piriton but this time he asked me to take it twice a day. he says,
if your boss want to scold you because you fall asleep during working hour, let it be! he also prescribed me this cream to be applied to my body... ~sigh...~
by the time i left the hospital, i've got a missed call from my best friend,
sa. because i was driving, i thought of calling her back later.
when i reached home, the itchiness all over my body was killing me and i straight away decided to take a shower when
sa called again. so, i told her my condition after she said that another best friend,
e had asked her to checked on me... (awww....) when
sa said dat, she's coming over dat nite, i know she's gonna come with her version of concoction, using lingzhi product. (AND also her delicious fried mushrooms i had requested from her earlier.. and she actually made it despites all sorta excuses she gave.. hehehe.. thanks for loving me, sis!)
so dat nite, she applied the concoction, a mixture of the lingzhi toothgel and hand & body lotion to my grubby body... well, it gave me instant relief for an hour or 2, but it helped me not to damage my skin over and over again by scratching them vigorously laa..
19.07.07i woke up this morning, feeling a lil tired.. masa nak masuk toilet tu, i suddenly realised that my body's aching especially my left knee... and by that time i know, it's due to my body weight. i'm now officially 16kg heavier from my normal weight.. (b4 pregnancy, i was 49kg and now i'm a whooping 65KG!!) my palms and finger pon sakit2, lenguh and i was already feeling down on the way to the office sampai la sekarang nih....
had a colleague to massage my knee with tiger balm jez now.. rasa panas2 sket tu.. ok la..
oh! suddenly this brown clarks loafers i've been wearing doesn't fit me anymore and my official officewear is this comfy stretchable long pants you can get from any stall-like boutiques in most malls at rm39.90 (some places, the pants priced at RM69.90) and a long sleeve cotton tee..
and now, i declared myself
the grumpiest momma-to-be in the whole wide world!Labels: bummer
piriton jab my b*tt!!
at 1am last nite, i was having trouble to sleep due to the irritations i had earlier on. i was rudely woken up by the itchiness and i whined like a baby and dat apparently made b frustrated. before that, dear mama had put a mixture of bedak sejuk and lime all over my body and only God knows how much pain it has caused me!!! pedih nak mampos!!!
i decided to visit the ER @sjmc. the moment i stepped out of the car, the nurse attended to me with this look..
nurse: oh, ma'am.. you had contraction ma'am...???nak gelak kang macam jahat lak...
me: err.. no.. i got rashes all over my body and i can't sleep..muka nurse tu tetiba relief..
nurse: oh, ok.. come. come..so i went inside and the doctor checked on me. he consulted my gynae whether or not can give me an injection. i was lying on the bed, thinking.. why this happened to me? no. am not blaming God or anybody.. it's jez dat i was soo frustrated dat i can't even produce a single tears to show how frustrated i am.. know wat i mean???
the nurse gave me a piriton jab on my butt and i was discharged at 2am. but until now, the jab didn't do any good to me and i still have to bear the itchiness and i think it's worse than yesterday.
tried to constraint myself from scratching them but sometimes i failed... camne ha?
;-(
Labels: itchy and scratchy
crushed ice!
CRUSH! new band in town and they're gonna rock the local indie music scene!
for those who know one of the band members, yup! he's our very own
amiruddin syawal. hahaha! (refer pic, he's second from left) do check 'em out!
owh.. their very 1st album is coming up somewhere in september.. kot.
i like!
Labels: crush rocks
hari mati...
contrary to the subject, i'm not actually going to bebel about the day before i die or watsoever.. it's just dat, the moment i wake up dis morning, i already feel gloomy, sombre and exhausted by doing nothing. suddenly i'm not motivated to do anything. evrything is just wrong. i donno.
when i reached the office, the 1st person i saw when i entered the 4th floor door was
KB. sori, can't reveal any initial or position but miss azyze (if ko baca entry ni) mesti tau sapakah yg dimaksudkan ni.. haha..
as usual, tengok muka dia pon dah make me feel like vomiting. i have this serious.. no actually,
the whole department have this serious strenuous relationship with this particular person. she is just not a pleasant person to work with, you know. she has tis fake "i'm-the-sweetest-person-on-earth" looking face and likes to remind everyone that "if i'm not good at certain things, it's just not me as a person, it's truly work.." or so she said... duh! W!
anyway, she doesn't deserve a place here in my blog.. so.. let's just trash the thought of her, aite?
up til now, my mood is still like how it was dis morning. i donno.. probably the hormon changes or maybe due to the fact that i'm delivering soon... yela.. evrything seems out of place. with my work lagi.. with my environment kat rumah and office lagi.. and also the irritations i'm having rite now.. speaking of which, it has already spread to my hands and kaki. it's like tis small spots that wud appear after i scratch them and it wud be itchy for the next few secs. the other day i went to the doctor, the doctor thought it might be scabs or ommelayu kata kudis buta. but since b didn't get them so it's obviously not scabs laa kan.. dah letak ubat pon, i still feel itchy!
and suddenly baru la teringat that maybe i'm on
the stinging red fire ants curse kot. well.. few weeks back, while washing the dishes, i saw these troops of red ants, berkeliaran kat atas sink tu.. punyala banyak.. dahla besar-besar.. pastu the colour was dark red and nampak deadly sangat.. so, dgn perasaan yang,
"isk. if kena kat budak-budak tu, sure lebam-lebam satu badan nih.." i just tempek-tempek them ants sampai mati laa.. ada gak yang terlepas..
bila pikir-pikir balik... oh.. maybe the spirit of the dead ants came back and bite me all over my body, tu yang gatal tak habis-habis tuh kot... yela.. orang tua-tua cakap (even in my religion pon) cakap, pregnant ladies have to be careful of what they wish or say.. and also don't kill animals, kena behave, jangan buat perangai yang tak elok... so. maybe la jugak kan.. sebab i've killed those ants, tu yg depa balas balik tu kot... hahaha!! sounds stupid but macam logik pon ada gak kan...?
that's my theory so far of why i'm all itchy and scratchy apart from other people said that it's
pembawakan budak.. wallahu'alam...
well.. i'm taking this positively and i guess i have to bear the itchiness till delivery time la kot!
btw, welcome to my dear buddy bro, razif hashim, to my humble blog. bacala selagi boleh..
(err.. no. he's not
the razif hashim.. from gol & gincu the series or goodbye boys fame.. no. he's not.)
Labels: deadly sin
cerita sayu...
last saturday, after collecting
'the bag' yg my best friend,
d ordered from
this boutique from klcc, i went to her mom's house in maluri, nak bagi 'the bag' tu kat mak dia. (d lives in the UK with her hubby and 4 little rascals) earlier on, d smsed me, saying that her mak pegi mengaji kat ttdi petang tu. so, thinking that i won't be able to meet mama sofea (we normally call her mom by that name), at first ingat nak pass je 'the bag' kat her maid. but masa maid dia keluar from the house, she said that mama sofea dah balik and tgh solat maghrib. masa tu dah berbelah bagi dah.. donno whether to wait or to leave. tapi pastu, sbb pikir tanak kacau rumah org maghrib-maghrib, i jez told her maid to send my regards instead. masa dah gerak, only few meters from her house, i felt hesitate and awkward..
b: you sure tanak jumpa mak dia dulu..?me: tula.. dah la dah lama tak jumpa mak dia...b: jumpa la. mcm kelakar je pegi camtu jee..me: yela.. mcm tak baik je.. patah balik lah...so, we made a turn and stopped in front of her house. masa tekan bell tu, mak dia dah bukak pintu dgn telekung yg belom bukak lagi..
ms: muharra kaaa? awat pegi?? meh masuk meh...me: err.. takdela makcik. tanak kacau makcik tgh semayang...so, i went in but b went to the kedai to looked for ciggies.
ms: isk.. lama tak jumpa muharra.. apa habaq?me: alhamdulillah sihat.. sorila makcik. bkn tanak singgah tadi..ms: takdak laa.. ni yang (d's nickname among her family members) suruh bayaq duit kat muharra ni.. dia pesan kat makcik dah.. berapa?isk.. mama sofea tak sempat2 nak bayar duit beg tu.. hehehe.. so, she disappeared into her room and came back wif her lil purse. cute je..
ms: nah ni.. ala.. muharra ada tukaq 50 ni kaa? 110 kan..? makcik dah pakai duit kecik tadi masa bayaq teksi balik dr ttdi td...me: alamak.. muharra mmg takde tukar pon.. eh, takpela makcik. 100 rinngit pon ok.. takyah la 10 ringgit tu..mama sofea looking blank.
ms: eh, tanak la lagu tu.. ce tanya husband ada tukaq tak..i jez smile and went out to checked on b. i called him in.
me: ni la suami muharra. makcik kenal kot.. dolu2 selalu anta yang balik dr itm.. dgn razip sume..ms: haa.. yela. yela.. ingat la..b salam mama sofea. tersengih2 gak.
ms: ni.. ada dak tukaq 50?laa haiii...
i looked at b wit the 'takyahlaaa' look.
b: takde la makcik. isk. takpe. 10 ringgit je..ms: ishhh.. tanak la lagu tu.. nnt jap.. atiiiii.... (her maid) awak ada duit tak? 10 ringgit..a: err.. tak ada.. saya tak ada duit..ms: laa.. dah habis dah ke?me: ala makcik, takyah laa. takpe. muharra tak kisah.mama sofea tengok purse dia balik.
ms: haa. ni ada 6 ringgit je.. nah.. short 4 ringgit..aku dah tergelak2 dah. mama sofea seemed restless sbb tak dpt byr exact amount. tanak keciwakan hati dia, i jez took the 6 ringgit. tak kisahla kan sbb yang penting dapat jumpa dia after sooo long. so, after much fuss about the duit tukar, we talked about how time flies and everything dah different. how mama sofea was a bit surprised to know that her dear daughter dah beranakkan zach yushua baru la dia tau yg dia dpt cucu lagi.. hahaha! yup! dis fren of mine ni beranak setawon sekali... but her kids are all mmg cute and geram sgt bila tgk gamba2 dorg..
so, masa nak balik tu, masa nak salam2 tu la time sayu kuar... mama sofea siap peluk2 cium2 lagi.. pastu dia buat statement..:
ms: jaga diri naa....a pause there...
ms: teringat kat yang... sob! sob!dia tak nangis.. tapi cam sebak... alahai.. aku pon naik sebak gak.. naseb tak nangis...
ms: teringat kat yang....she repeated. again. b stood by my side. silent.
me: yela.. dolu2 muharra selalu dtg sini lepak2, tido sini...i tried to change the topic. then she looked at me.
ms: jaga diri naa..pastu dia tepuk2 my cheeks... and smiled. i smiled at her..
me: ok makcik. jaga diri makcik jugak. insyaAllah, muharra datang lagi...so, we went out and at one last look at her, i somehow know how she felt at dat time..... anaknya nun jauh di mata... mak mana yg tak sayu hatinya kan...
balikla sabariah oiiii!!! mak hang rindu kat hang...
d is in the middle. linda on the left and moi on the right. the 3 katik musketeers yg selalu crashed d's house. oh.. dis pic was taken when we were in our final year in uitm. year 2001 kot.Labels: sob sob
si gatal!!!
my bloated perut is so damn gatal sekarang ni!!!!
nak garu tak boleh.
if garu kang ada marks all over my thick-skinned belly.
if tak garu, i'd go berserk like hell!
aarrrgghhhhh!!!!!
can't wait for you to come outta dis belly la wei...
nak nangis...
Labels: itchy and scratchy
ms, mrs and mr vss. and my baby.
sunyi. sepi. total emptiness.'cept the sound from the radio and sumtimes the coordinator telling this and that.dan sekali sekala jugak miss ea bersuara.no more jl bugging me to watch movie trailers.no more gl a.k.a my daniel, calling me ugly betty.no more tt's sneezing endlessly and ended up red faced all over.no more smj bitching bout whoever with kakak f.no more kakak f calling out aarriiiisyaaaaa.....no more mr. h patting my shoulder after a nice pep talk.no more ting tong with her sweet smile, bugging me with her boss' chores.and finally.. no more ac telling me..
"orang mengandung mana boleh pakai baju kaler pink..."
err.... wtf mo' fo'?!! i missed all of them the above 7 peeps..
but not ac. ever.
happy enjoying v$$ dough, dear frenz!
foto dicurik dr blog miss ea... ;-)
**********
meanwhile, i'm into my 33rd week of pregnancy now.. things are doing fine. got some baby stuff for my unborn lil ones.. but not much sbb tanak membazir.
as prep for myself, tak beli apa-apa pon lagi.. i'm sooo clueless! nak ikut my other preggie sis beli barang mmg tak boleh cuz she has a different way of shopping for things.
jez the other day she emailed me, asking me about my confinement plan.. nak mkn apa for the diet and so forth.. and she suggested this daily nutrition pack.. supposedly good to detoxify your body and all.. and the pack was like a huge sum of rm800 for the whole confinement period... and of course i said no, i'm not interested when i'm actually wondering what good does a pack of that amount of money would make a different to our post natal body.... or in short.. is she nuts??
i almost went berserk when i saw her bringing back the pack later that day... dat's for her of course!
oh! kaya-raya sungguh kakak aku yang sorang nih... isk.
Labels: mms, vss
