why laaa?
why o why?why do you have to choose today to ask me where is that t-shirt?why do you have to choose today to wear that t-shirt?why do you have to choose today to vent your unpredictable temper to me?why o why?haih.*************************************************************************************
anyway, i saw
this article kat
utusan online this morning and it melt and broke my heart to pieces. alfatihah buat allahyarham loloq and semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya.
incek mnasir, you're one helluva friend lah. tsk.
SETAHUN sejak Loloq pergi, aku melepaskan keterbiasaan sedikit demi sedikit.
Keterbiasaan melalaikan aku pada sesuatu yang tidak biasa.
Kerana keterbiasaanlah hampir hari-hariku terasa Loloq akan hadir menyambung bicara jam 3 pagi, semalam di Warung Awe atau Yeop dekat pejabat Luncai Emas berbicara penemuan-penemuan pencetus idea atau sekadar bicara prestasi Manchester United yang kekadang mencemaskan.
Kemudian mengingatkannya tentang lirik yang seharusnya siap dua minggu lepas.
Pernah ketika umur kami menjangkau 40 tahun, kami berbicara tentang mati.
Lalu sentuh kematian P. Ramlee yang masih agak muda. Seniman mati muda ramai.
Khairul Anwar mati muda walau dia mahu hidup seribu tahun lagi. Kita mahu hidup seribu tahun lagi.
Namun, itu hanyalah penyataan puitis dan nyatanya ajal bergaul dengan fitrah.
Buat diriku, seniman terus hidup selagi karyanya hidup.
Loloq adalah seniman dan sahabat karibku. Lebih dari itu, dia adalah 'cerminku' yang kini hilang.
Aku tak pasti dia pemujaku, tapi aku hampir pasti dia pengkritik aku yang setia.
Zaman pencarian di Singapura dekat 30 tahun dahulu menemukan aku dengannya.
Gayanya yang menangkap, bercermin mata ala John Lennon dan gigi ala Tompel sukar dilupakan.
Dia telah lalui zaman gelap. Allah sahaja yang tahu sejauh mana dia telah merantau tapi dia menjelma seperti burung api yang gemerlap.
Aku akui waktu itu aku hanya pelajar. Namun, aku telah menghasilkan album Kembara dan dia cuba membongkar pemikiranku.
Dia penggemar Beatles dan Bob Dylan seperti aku.
Umur kami sama. Hidup kami ala hippies lalu reaksi kimia pun tercerna.
Loloq datang dan pergi dalam hidupku sehingga dia muncul semula di Sungai Buluh, sewaktu aku mula membina tapak Luncai Emas 15 tahun dahulu.
Itu pun dengan keresahan perantaunya sehingga bersama kawan-kawan lain menetap di rumah sewa di belakang pejabat lama Luncai Emas.
Bagaimana dia mula mengambil berat dalam penulisan adalah keanehan.
Aku sedar dia pembaca tetapi menulis?Namun, dia mula menulis dengan kumpulan percubaannya, Rastari waktu di Singapura.
Kapal Belayar dan Wak Jono adalah antara lirik pertama yang ditulisnya.
Walau kurang sempurna, ia menghidupkan satu aliran muzik indie dengan suaranya dapat didengar dalam beberapa trek album itu.
Loloq hilang agak lama lepas itu, sehingga dia muncul dengan lirik Insan & Manikam dalam albumku.
Sejak itu dia tidak melihat belakang lagi. Dalam masa-masa yang sama 'menikah' dan membuat 'duit' dari album seterusnya seperti Ella dan Search.
Kekadang dia menyatakan kerisauannya dengan kestabilan hidup.
Takut kalau perantauannya akan berakhir seperti orang biasa.
Loloq, kekadang Nurbisa, Abdullah Romani, kekadang Heikal dan Kristo Bimbo adalah ironi pada Rosli Khamis.
Dia adalah jegela yang bermainkan watak- watak, namun, mencari dirinya yang sebenar.
Loloq memasuki dunia seni hiburan ini dengan semangat menambah warnanya dengan cara tersendiri.
Walau bagai seorang penulis lirik suaranya lebih lantang dan dirasai daripada kebanyakan penyanyi dan pencipta lagu.
Dia adalah karakter yang sukar dilupakan. Siapa yang mengenalinya tidak akan lupa dengan gayanya, tawanya, pemakaian fesyen terkini dan ranggi serta anting-anting di telinga.
Tapi yang mendalami jiwanya, akan mengenal manusiawi bernama Loloq.
Rupanya perantauan Loloq tak habis lagi. Dia kini merantau ke satu daerah baka melepasi fana dan lagu-lagunya adalah gema karya rasanya di bumi ini.
123 Do Re Mi
Apa nak jadi
Alif Bata A B C
Apa nak jadi
Akan terjadi
Hujan pasti berhenti
(Petikan lirik lagu Apokalips oleh Loloq)
Rahmat Allah Untukmu Loloq,
Daripada aku,
M. Nasir
pic was also taken from utusanonlinedotcom.
Labels: loloq, mnasir, utusan online
you'll never walk alone... (awak takkan jalan sorang-sorang...?)
it's been a while since i last blabbed about english premier league.
jadi, mari kita berbicara tentang bolasepak liga inggeris.
as all of you know by now, imma big liverpool fan. ardent. fanatic. tak fanatic sangat la. but i'm a true kop eventho it's been ages since they last smudge them sticky hands on the EPL cup. yerp! almost 19 years now.
~sigh...~
and of course, due to some domestic commitments i have/need to fulfill, there were times that i missed the reds games and there were times, i watched them played
(kadang2 with the red adidas - ladies version - jersey on) with my dad, zaes,
inceksubhikarimdotcom-the-gunners, my another-liverpool-fan cousin and my-i-hate-liverpool-cuz-imma-man u-fan uncle. and since i hate m u, chelsea & arsenal so much, i'd make sure i wont miss any of the games involving these 4 rivals. and for the 2008/2009 season, aston villa has suddenly become one of the threats that need to be put off el pronto! muahahahahaaa!!!
*evil laugh*of course i know that competition is healthy and what not, tapi sebab kadang-kadang these 4 other teams ni berlagak so much - especially their managers -, i just couldn't resist to hate them simply. especially the devils. and the blues. and the gunners. and now the villas.. haha. macam rumah.
(dan ye. saya tau. ini semua perang psikologi dan strategi masing-masing. rafael benitez pon bole tahan berlagak, tapi lepas berlagak, if tak deliver, dia akan jadi coward yang teramat coward. lembu la dia ni..)remember when jose mourinho aka the special one was in charge of the blues? huih.. i can't stand his berlagakness mann! seriously!! yela. no doubt he's damn good - the brain of all mothers of soccer brain he has -
(shite! if my-chelsea-hardcore-fan cousin read this statement, habisla kemachoan saya dalam mempertahankan bahawa chelsea tak best langsung!) sampai masa he's leaving chelsea pon, i was hoping that the americans, hicks & gillett would immediately sign him up to be the next liverpool manager, tapi nampaknya tak kesampaian kerana dengan pantas disambar oleh inter milan. dan rumour has it that he's not interested pon dengan liverpool. isk. kan i dah kata dia ni berlagak nak mati? haih.
incek special one in action. wait a minute? apekejadahnya tak suka chelsea & incek mourinho tapi buat montage gambar dia?? sebab dia adalah antara manager bagus yang handsome yang pernah saya jumpa. aichemak. (gambar dirampok di google images)
ok. now dah lari topik.
so, kesimpulannya, come on you lil twit! yes YOU! i'm talking to you rafael benitez! you better buck up the team or else... or else... err.. see you in court? haha. bodoh tul statement aku nih..
no matter what la eh, i'd still support the merseysiders even if they were to be delegated to 1st div. betol! been a supporter and always be! you go gurl.. eh.. guys! prove to them that you can clinch the title by the end of the season! being on a draw streaks for the last coupla games
(the last one was yesterday nite - i didnt watch sebab too late.. ke takde live & exclusive - draw dengan wigan (?) 1-1) sebenarnya adalah tidak healthy, with torres still searching for his fading rhythm after the injury, keane pon cam ada prob dengan rafa
(who doesnt? benitez ni tak betol sket. remember when he had a rift with micheal owen? budak tu merajuk sampai pegi real madrid.), gerrard - despite his court case - tapi still professional and roaring, reina yang tak consistent, same goes with kuyt, lucas.. the list would go on and on lah.. haih.
by looking at the table, i'm not sure if i can predict what happen next. oh. dont forget champs league dudes! better buck up la oi!
disebabkan rafael benitez tak handsome, i'd rather show this table i got from the EPL official site. and to read more about yesterday's game, click here.Labels: epl, kops, liverpool, merseysiders, reds, soccer
p.s. i love you. yes! YOU!
** start plagiarising **Kamu tahu tidak, perasaan menahan perasaan?
Kamu simpan, simpan simpan lepas itu satu insiden kecil yang tidak signifikan langsung tiba-tiba menyebabkan banjir emosi yang dasyat?
Saya pun kadang-kadang begitu.
Simpan, sorok - tapi hah kau, kalau ada benda yang bingo! hit the right spot, sekecil manapun ia, memang berhamburlah segala isi perut.
*bayangkan efek batu kecil terkena cermin kereta dan cermin retak seribu.*
Batu kecil yang
lethal itu telah datang dalam bentuk filem P.S I Love You malam semalam.
Cis.
Memanglah
adik saya (cik jiran sebelah) sudah warning awal-awal
untuk sediakan tisu dan tiger balm untuk membantu pernafasan. Saya siap buat air, tutup lampu dan tenangkan minda untuk mendapat impak mega soppy love story yang digembar-gemburkan oleh semua orang. Ditambah pulak dengan efek kucing peliharaan yang dok meleseh-leseh sambil buat mata terkedip-kedip bila sampai bahagian sedih yang memerlukan saya untuk turut menangis bersama Hillary Swank muncul. (gua lepak je tengok dengan lampu tangga on, sambil kaki letak atas meja iMac tuh..)Tapi apekejadah tengok cerita sedih tapi masih menangis walaupun ending credits dah selesai?
Ni menangis dasyat ni, tahap badan bergoyang. (takde la sampai bergoyang macam dia.. heheh..) Saya sendiri terfikir, kenapa aku tak boleh berhenti menangis ni? Cerita tu tak lah sedih tahap maut... aish, is this a virus of some sort?
Saya dapati air mata saya masih tak mahu berhenti keluar, dan badan seolah mencari kehangatan pelukan comforting dari seseorang
(okay, saya terpaksa settled for pelukan comforter sahaja lah) (takde sesi peluk sapa2 pon as i was watching this dvd alone, from b's iMac, sebab b ada TT session with his fotogfrens and my sister, mama and zaes were already in la la land) serta kata-kata
assuring untuk melega limpahan emosi yang entah datang dari mana.
Adalah dalam lima enam minit menangis menekup muka dengan bantal, (gua termenung macam orang hilang akal je) baru saya sedar yang hati saya sebenarnya sudah berat dan kecewa dari awal minggu - kerana keadaan Palestin. Saya sudah sakit hati dan memang betul-betul risaukan keadaan saudara kita di Palestin. Setiap hari tengok di TV, dengar di radio, baca di internet... makin lama makin menggunung ketidakselesaan saya. Marah melihat kekejaman yang semakin hari semakin teruk, dan kecewa teramat sangat kerana saya hanya mampu melihat mereka mati tanpa mampu berbuat apa-apa secara langsung untuk membantu mereka. (adala sama sket..)
Kamu tahu perasaan pecah hati? Lebih kurang begitulah.
Agaknya, dinding yang saya bina menyekang rasa jiwa akhirnya tak mampu menampung beban. Terus melimpah-ruah. Kocak air masa tsunami.
Ya, ya, reaksi sejagat umumnya adalah untuk berasa marah tahap langit dan perasaan ini mendorong kita untuk melakukan (atau setidaknya pun, berfikir untuk melakukan) perkara-perkara ganas seperti bakar bendera, ludah Amerika, pijak barangan keluaran Yahudi, mencarut sampai pagi mahupun pecahkan cermin kereta (sendiri punya tak apa).
Bagi rakyat kebanyakan, mungkin sekadar sama-sama maki Yahudi bila kita jumpa-jumpa minum kopi. (Ada yang kaw-kaw maki Yahudi ketika minum di Starbucks. Peh, berapa punya oxymoron lah situasi itu.) Tak kurang juga yang mendiam diri dan cuba mengawal fikiran.
Selalunya reaksi saya taklah sampai nangis lama-lama cenggini.
Tapi, kalau kamu pun tengah PMS, mungkin kamu faham.
Dah nama pun perempuan kan, nangis je lah! (very true and agreed hands down!)
Cheh!
p.s: p.s I Love You memang cerita jiwa perempuan sangat! Suka lah! :)
p.s.s: abang gerard butler hot, tapi abang harry connick jr ngan abang Jeffrey Dean Morgan lagi hot lah!
** end of plagiarising **yah. i'm lazy like that. sukati gua je nak plagiat review filem orang lain. but knowing
cik jiran sebelah, i know she wont mind. kan? kan? er..
~sigh...~ this film made me appreciate
life even more. tsk.
and this poster (and the title of this post) was the only thing i didn't plagiarise from her blog. dia tampal poster lain. heh.Labels: azyzedotcom, gerard butler, hilary swank, jeffrey dean morgan, psiloveyou, subhikarimdotcom, yahudi mabuk
bole faham ke?
moving on already...
remember the other day i said i'd update about the lab report of my recent surgery?
well, i only got the report last saturday sebab the report was unavailable on the 1st follow up visit to my surgeon. so, i went again, and the surgeon check balik my wound
(which dah soften & almost dried up) and if i hadn't mentioned about the report, mesti dia lupa nak bagi sampai abang jamil mampus!
(tidak merujuk kepada mana-mana abang jamil - only the jamil played by p ramlee in madu 3)i quickly took the piece of paper
(btw, it is called histopathology report.. ehem.) and read the content. berpinar mata cuz medical jargons were in every paragraph and when i asked the doctor, he simply answered, "
oh.. no. no.. everything's ok, not to worry."oh.. ye ke? haha. good to know that all's well. punya la panjang report tu, and he only summarised them in one intelligible sentence je. cheh.
(p/s: jargons worth to be googled:
papillomatosis and
fibrocystic disease. haha! jadik doktor jap.)
bacala kalau berani! haha..so, guys.. the said lumps belong to the non-cancerous group and was i ever grateful of that fact! Alhamdulillah.
since chinese new year is just around the corner, lemme be the first to wish you a prosperous year of the Ox ahead and dont be too extravagant on your expenses, aite?
and someone's getting old turning 3.0 on the 1st day of cny y'all! yup! dat's you cik naga!(this cheeky rss dolly created by: kak emil!)Labels: breast lumps, fibroadenoma, nagamerahputih, pramlee
in memory of aidil izzuddin shah.
the funeral was held yesterday after zuhur prayer and it went smoothly. too many versions i heard of the accident. but, when it was already written by Allah that his moments on earth will stop at the age of 16
(he's turning 16 this march actually), as human being, kita kena redha je la sebab maybe that's the best for him. as people would say, only the good die young.
during the funeral,
(alhamdulillah for him, ramai betul friends and relatives - ada yang came all the way from johor - yang datang) the person of whom he sent home that nite was crying non stop while helping to kambuskan tanah after the jenazah being placed in the liang lahad. i can see almost all of his school friends were very sad for his demise. but his parent and siblings were calm in their sorrow, and it was quite heart-breaking to see his younger siblings yang tak tau apa-apa tu, eventho they know what death is tapi tu la...
below were some of his last words, as told by his mama and mak
(how he addressed his grandma):just before he left his mak's house to sent his friend:
a: mak, ni along keluar ni tak balik-balik lagi tau..m: ish.. nak pegi mana lak tu sampai tak balik-balik lagi? jangan nak mengada-ngada pulak..a: takdela. balik lambat sikit..he also asked his mak permission to take along some mandarin oranges, but his mak was curious kenapa mintak sampai 4 biji and he answered that he wanted to share them with his friends.
few weeks back, he was sulking and his mama called him up to consoled him. and he answered by saying,
"ala.. kalau along takda, mama ada lagi 6 orang."~sigh~
"Ya Allah, Jadikan kematian anak ini sebagai pahala dan simpanan bagi kedua orang tuanya dan pemberi syafaat yg dikabulkan doanya."
Hadis Riwayat Baghawi
alfatihah and our deepest condolences to abang z and family...
i had just finished my asar prayer and when i got back to my desk, i saw a missed call and an sms from b:
dah jumpa. dont call me now. later k.my heart beats faster than usual. i couldn't help it but to call back and when i finally got to talked to him, he said he's on the way to the place where they found his body. it was quite far from the location whre he was last seen.
as i hung up the phone, i couldn't help it but to cry. i was devastated. deeply sad. i told my colleagues and cik jiran sebelah came and hug me. i just couldn't help it but to suddenly teringat2 gelagat along whenever we went back to b's hometown for family gathering.
and another sms came in. from b lagi and he confirmed that the body was of along's.
i am now waiting for my sis to come and fetch me.
meanwhile, thanks for all your prayers. may along rest in peace and Allah lebih sayangkan dia nampaknya. may Allah bless his soul and letakkan dia dikalangan orang yang beriman.
alfatihah.
sad but it's happening...
i received a phone call from
incek hubby b via billa's fon (mine was in my wrislet and bila fon dalam wrislet mahupon poket, peratusan mendengar deringan yang diterima adalah pada kadar -256%) when we were doing our groceries this noon kat the newly opened hypermarket kat where i am currently resided. he didn't follow sebab dia kena sidai kain. yang telah dibasuh oleh saya (washing machine yang tolong).
incek hubby b: mana u letak fon u..? (hampir menyinga tona yang kedengaran)
cik roxy the wifey (koolness!): kat sini lagi la.. (kelembutan di balik kebengangan. sket..)
incek hubby b: i have to go out sekejap.. a.. ta.. ik.. (eh. bukan taik, tapi suara dia tersekat-sekat due to coverage problem la tu..)
cik roxy the wifey: sorry? i cant hear you la..
incek hubby b: ada berita tak baik...
cik roxy the wifey: huh? kenapa..? (alamak kenapa kah? sambil memandang serius dan sedikit gelisah kepada mama, billa and her kawan jeee..)
incek hubby b: along, anak sedara i, anak abang z tu.. dia jatuh dalam sungai..
cik roxy the wifey: HUH?? jatuh dalam sungai?? camne? katne? camne? katne? (ye. saya memang suka mengulangi apa saja yang saya cakap berkali-kali)
begini. it seemed that his nephew was out since yesterday nite to sent his friend back to his friend's house, on a motorbike. on the way back, someone saw him, running away from some perampok kat satu jambatan ni, somewhere near the kesas highway, and kat situ ada sungai klang (la kot.. according to
incek hubby b la kan) and eventually he slipped off and pwooosh! masuk sungai... and the witness yang saw the whole scene tu (who was a drunk indian man fishing kat sungai tu, btw - drunk tapi tengah fishing.. like wtf sungguh?) pon called up the police but the police arrived quite late.. tah. God knows how late was the police...
ye. very sad cuz after i got the fon call, i asked billa's kawan jeee.. to sent us to lokasi kejadian. quite a number of relatives (and strangers too) turned up.
and to cut a long story short, up till now @7.42pm, (after i met with my b-i-l and his wife and second child, offering them words of comfort and all, and after b sent me back home as zaes is having a flu.. - imagine his cranky mood - and went back to the location after getting enuff power supply for his hp) there's still no news of his whereabouts and the family members are requesting the rescuers to search for him under the bridge -of where he fell - for the last time...
sigh.. it's a sad news you know. i didn't know along long enough, but my brief moments with him was great and he didn't seem like a difficult person at all. very quiet, rajin and obedient. a good example to his other 6 brothers and sisters despite their other challenges in life. (yep. abang and kakak ipar gua memang productive)
oh dear Allah, i'm praying for along's (aidil izzuddin shah) safety. but everything is really up to You.
i shall update soon. meanwhile dear readers.. please pray for his safety too.
i am so ever grateful for the prayers. thanks in advance...
buy if you need to. don't buy if you don't need to. simple as that.
ok. ok. i've got the point.
mengepos entry mengenai penyangak haram j zionis dengan
koleksi terbaru m.a.c sebelah menyebelah adalah sangat ironi. sama seperti sesi mengkopi di stabak sambil mengutuk dengan rakusnya mengenai kekejaman tentera israel itu menyerang bumi palestin, bak kata
cik jiran sebelah...ada seorang pembaca, yaya
(thanks for dropping by eventho you didn't leave your email or web add. and eventho i have an aunt called auntie yayah, mustahil yaya adalah auntie yayah therefore yaya remain anonymous) telah menghighlitekan mengenainya dengan mengatakan bahawa produk
m.a.c adalah salah satu produk yang diboikot kerana rangkaian kosmetik itu adalah produk amerika,
(i'm sure most of us now got the notification, be it via email/sms, about numbers of american products yang kita kena boikot sebab hasil jualan tu dorang salurkan kepada israeli war tu and the fact that bakal mantan presiden george bush didn't do anything about the current war kat gaza city itu) lantas membuatkan seluruh dunia diseru untuk berkata
tidak/no/na'ah/mo/nahi tom pyar kar ta ho (haha! suko hati den yo..) kepada produk dari negara uncle sam itu bagi mengekang atau melumpuhkan peperangan itu dari terus berlaku.
tapi, setakat ini, walaupon saya tau
m.a.c dari US of A, tapi tak terbaca la lagi kat mana2 yang m.a.c pon tersenarai dalam list rangkaian produk yang menyalurkan profit dorang kat penyangak-penyangak ni. tah. yang ada
koka kola, stabak, mabelin, kolget, mekdonel etc etc.. dan yang saya tau,
m.a.c dengan hasil jualan 100% produk viva glam nya, akan terus disalurkan kepada m.a.c aids fund tu adalah.. ni. sila baca petikan dibawah dari
maccosmetics.com:Established in 1994 by M·A·C Cosmetics, the M·A·C AIDS Fund supports men, women and children affected by HIV/AIDS globally. Introducing its first VIVA GLAM lipstick that same year, M·A·C decided that every cent of the selling price of the VIVA GLAM lipsticks would go to the M·A·C AIDS Fund. With a total of six shades of Viva Glam lipstick and two shades of Viva Glam lipglass now sold worldwide, and through the annual Kids Helping Kids Card Program, M·A·C Cosmetics has provided over $128 million (US) to date for the M·A·C AIDS Fund. The M·A·C AIDS Fund is the heart and soul of the company – with its employees giving their time, energy and talent to help those affected by HIV/AIDS worldwide.
Since 1994, the M·A·C AIDS Fund continues to provide funding to non-profit HIV/AIDS organizations and programs for basic needs such as food, clothing, housing or shelter (short-term or transitional); direct services related to healthcare, social services, transportation (medical visits, outpatient visits and other social services), and health-related recreational activities, and programs that bring HIV/AIDS education, awareness and prevention to the public attention.
untuk maklumat lanjut, sila lawati
www.macaidsfund.org.takpe. saya tak marah mahupun melenting tentang komen yaya tu. yela. di saat-saat dunia sedang marah dengan tindakan kejam zionis itu, pada saat-saat saya sendiri mengutuk keras perbuatan tak berperikemanusiaan itu, tiba-tiba lak saya jadi teruja dengan kehadiran koleksi terbaru dari
m.a.c.as i've mentioned earlier, imma makeup junkie. saya memang camni. teruja/excited bila ada benda baru yg mereka perkenalkan. same goes dengan machine yg saya gunakan kat ofis mahupon dirumah,
apple macintosh. (barang US lagi..) i've always love their innovations and wat not. tapi disebabkan faktor wang aje yang membuatkan saya agak payah untuk memiliki barangan apple sebulan atau 2 bulan sekali waima setahun sekali pon. it came once in a blue moon je. beli apa yang perlu. just imagine if i were to boycott my own machine/work station? habisla kena pecat sebab refuse to use my computer kat ofis sebab tak setuju dengan apa yang dibuat oleh pihak US. dahla kena pecat, pastu takleh nak carik keja lain sebab keja lain pon sah-sah akan guna machine yang sama sebab itu je machine yang m comfortable to work with pastu dok umah pon takleh nak buat freelance pon sebab kat umah pon pakai benda yang sama.. pastu takde duit, pastu terpaksa mengharap simpati orang pastu jadik pemintak sedekah dengan menggunakan zaes sebagai alat
(supaya orang ramai simpati lalu menghulurkan sesen dua) untuk terus hidup pastu menjadi bahan cacian masyarakat.... and the list would go on and on and on...
(lain la dengan incek subhikarimdotcom tu.. if dia nak boycott machine dia, dia still ada his canon 40d to carik makan..)
zaes: excuse me sir. would you like to adopt me cuz my mommey boycotted the products from US and now she's outta job and can't afford to buy me air biya (read: ribena) anymore.. puhhlleasseee.(pic by billabongok)tengok. kan dah terpesong jauh.
back to the point. like i said, if benda tu adalah keperluan, terpaksa beli, terpaksa la beli. kalau tak perlu, jangan la beli.
macam la saya nak beli pon koleksi terbaru dorang tu.
saya cakap kat sini je. sebagai info untuk makeup junkies yang lain seperti saya.
tu je. blom beli pon. baru teaser je.
tak. saya bukan emo. nak cakap je.
nak cakap yang saya tetap benci zionis tapi saya masih sukakan barangan
m.a.c. and
apple macintosh. yang belum tentu saya akan beli atau tak tu.
dah. nak buat keja.
bayangkan zaes sekecil ini kena pegi carik keja sebab mak bapak dia tak bekerja? meh bayangkan bersama-sama...
(pic by billabongok)Labels: apple macintosh, m.a.c, mac aids fund, makeup, makeup junkie, zionist haram j
you gotta be kidding me?!
i'm soooo gonna lovin' this!!!
and am soooo gonna be broke if i get my hands on one of them limited edition!
exclusively brought to you by maccosmeticsdotcom.
coming to you this february 2009.
(or end feb/early march in malaysia. biasa la tu...)argggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!
*kesinambungan daripada cranky mode: ON dari pagi tadi... i'm sucha makeup junkie!*
(confirm
incek subhikarimdotcom will say something ~ if he reads this entry lah... =p)
Labels: hello kitty limited edition, m.a.c, makeup
screw you, you morons!
i'm just too tired to talked about these laknatullah.
they're just fcuking haram j sungguh!
let's just pray that the entire haram j israelis ni would get the worst punishment ever!
screw you, you fcuking zionist!
this mnemonic was taken from here. i'm not sure tho' if it was created/designed by the same person. sampah masyarakat tul la ko ni israel!
may Allah bless & protect the palestinians. and may their souls (those innocent victims) rest in peace and placed by His army of the chosen ones... amin.
Allahuakbar!
Labels: israel bongok, pray for the palestinians, zionist haram j
if i were a boy...
... i think i might not have lumps on my breast... (sambil menyanyi macam beyonce)
(no. on a second thought, boys also might have lumps on their breast. a rare case that is.)before i could proceed, lemme just thank all the commentator, esp.
s, who made a
come back to the blogging world recently,
cik jiran sebelah, cpms, afz, blablaby, cik foxx, miszbeauty (in no particular order) for their thoughts on the dried-out throat o'mine... & my new year.. entries. enough of the being kulit gelap and all, i guess if we're not different, the world would be a dead place to lived in kan.. haha.
I HEART ME! yay!after posted my 1st entry of 2009, baru teringat that the nite before, i detected a lump on my left side breast and mula la tak senang duduk. so, after lunch, i quickly went to the nearest clinic and to my dismay, sebab nak jumpa doktor pompuan punya pasal, benda yang sepatutnya bole settle in 10 minutes, terus jadi 1 hour! sume patients yang datang tu, sume nak jumpa only the female doktor. termasuk la this one guy. ceh.
when it was my turn, i went in and told her about the lump. so, she checked and confirmed that it was a lump, probably this one
fibroadenoma to be exact. and more on fibroadenoma,
here. pandai2 la nak baca yang mana satu. =p
so, she refered me to the hospital. mula-mula she wrote a referal letter to my gynae, tapi when i went there the next day, my co's insurance co called and told me that i should be refered to a surgeon. OMG sungguh! it was such a long story, membuatkan saya berasa sangat malas untuk bercerita lebih lanjut tentang itu.
oh.. before that, malam tu, since b was very, very sick and after much kejap shivering and kejap panas situation, i brought him to the hospital and he was admitted to the ward.
(phew.. lega! i was trying to get rid of him actually.. kalau tak asyik dengar him whining je.. heheh!) and since mama was at sis#1's house, my b-i-l suggested that we also bunked at their house that nite. so, bersempit2la kitorang kat rumah dorang malam tu. and that nite also, from my tido-tido ayam tu, i can hear mama's vomiting, out of pening kepala...
(she said that she felt sick cuz it seemed dat everyone oso sakit.. cute!)
so, the next morning, after the co's insurance co refered me to the right person, yakni the surgeon, i waited patiently for the doctor at his clinic (yes. a he doctor checkin' out ma boobies..) masa jumpa tu, as usual, he asked me few questions before proceeding to checking my boobies lumps out. and vaguely (?) confirmed that it's a fibroadenoma.. (the surgeon looked unsure je sebab dia terlampau relaks.. i don't know.. maybe his character is like that or maybe he doesn't want to make me think too much).. so, after filling up piles of papers and some more questions in between, i was sent to have my blood & urine tested and also did an ultrasound. masa nak buat ultrasound, disebabkan ramai orang, i went and visit b at his ward. after an hour or so, i went back to the ultrasound dept and waited again. nak dekat 12 noon barula my name was called.
after the ultrasound, i read the report which was included with the film in the envelope. the radiologist had detected 2 lumps now, one big, measuring at about 1.4cm and the smaller one, at about 0.8cm. and some medical terms that i couldn't understand. uish! memang berdebar2 la jugak. so, i went back to his clinic, to handover the piles of papers and hoping that i could still catch him. but he already left for a meeting la pulak.
after that, the nurse brought me to the pre-admission counter sebab the surgeon has scheduled my surgery to be held on monday morning, so i have to be at the ward a day prior to the surgery. dah abis buat sume tu, i went and visit b one more time, before going back to my b-i-l's house. masa tu dah malas sangat nak pikir, the only thing i wanted was to get some sleep. but i couldn't. i can't help but to only kissed my zaes (he was asleep at that time) over and over again. tah. i have mixed feeling at that time. eventho, the doctor had said that the lumps are the non cancerous ones, but you can never be sure of it la kan? i didn't even feel afraid of the surgery but i feel afraid of losing my strength if the result from the removal surgery comes out the other way round. sigh...
the next day tu, b smsed that he can be discharged already. so, i went and fetch him with zaes. pastu, pegi dentist jap sebab b claimed that his gum was swollen. initially nak keluar jalan-jalan before gi hospital, tapi tak jadi sebab masa balik rumah, my sis#2 nye (insya-Allah) future fiance came and we talked about the merisik event this coming saturday.
at about 6pm, billa (yang still tak baik demam tu), mama & zaes sent me to the hospital. lepas lepak2 lebih kurang, they left me kat single room tu alone, with the nurses constantly checking my blood pressure, body temp and what not. so, masa tengah layan tv sorang-sorang, at about 8 almost 9, my 2 bff, cik naga & her lil dandan, together with ika & hubby came. i was happy to see them after so long tak jumpa.. (and the fact that cik naga sms me day before ajak pegi lunch tapi harap maaf la kan.. dats why she knew about what happened and promised to visit) so we chatted like there's no tomorrow wif lil dandan control handsome at times.. so cute la he!
masa tengah borak-borak tu, of course la about my lumps kan, ada ka cik naga made an assumption yang mungkin m gonna get pregnant again, and that lumps were a sign of pregnancy la apa la.. mesti la tak kan! of course i'm VERY SURE. (esok tu i got my period just before the surgery) rupa-rupanya dia nak cakap yang she's preggie 2nd baby! haha. kantoi.. konon nak sorok (like she did masa 1st baby).. of course i was happy sebab masa mula2 kawen, she had to faced with lots of obstacles to get preggie. now dat she's waiting for 2nd baby, i couldn't be any happier can i? and to top it off, ika also confirmed her pregnancy after much persuasion from the ever kepoh me! sampai nangis-nangis dia & her hubby.. terharu campur sedih sebab lama menunggu la kot kan... 3 years babe! mesti la menangis cuz their patience have finally paid off..
so, to both of them, selamat menempuh alam pregnancy bersama-sama! i am very happy for the both of you and pray for the safety of your pregnancy & the EDD somewhere this aug/sept, okay?love you guys soo much! and thanks for the encouragement too..
lepas dorang balik, the nite nurse came to me and told me to start fasting from 12 midnite as she slotted in the 'no drink no food' sign under my name slot. by 11ish.. my perut started to growl like an owl (sukati gua la.. it rhymes anyway.. =p) and told the nurse that i badly needed to get something to eat before 12. so i rushed over to the 7-11 opposite the hospital and got a vegetarian mamee express, red bean daifuku and kit kat. bawak balik bilik, makan mamee express sambil layan some singapore ghost story yang tah pape (pelik tul cara pompuan tu narrated the story.. macam robot melayu try cakap english) and i stopped at 12 sharp. then i couldn't help thinking bout the surgery, takleh tido, pastu channel surfing sampai la tertido...
and the day finally comes... i was awaken by the nurse, who told me to prepare myself for the surgery. while waiting for them to cart me away to the OT, i smsed few people (that i can think of at that moment). at about 10am, they brought me to level 1, where the OT was situated. masa kat situ, i have this awkward feeling je sebab all the nurses and assistants sume looked happy and very friendly and very nice la. sangat different ok! yela, maybe it was some psychology thingey they have to put up to so that the patients won't feel nervous or depressed or anything la kot. and masa tunggu my surgeon to come, this chinese male doctor came to me, looking all white.. (as white as a white A4 paper.. haha!)
dr. r: hi, sharifah. i'm dr.r, your anaesthetician. how are you? yada yada.. now i'm gonna give you some syrup which will make you relax. ok. open your mouth... yes. that's it. it feels a lil bit like ginseng. nice. but bitter. ok?
roxy: erk.. ok. erk.. mmm.. errr..
hell yeah it was bitter! and i felt relax too after that. gila ah.. still waiting for the surgeon, i scanned the whole waiting place, looking for a clock and saw one (and it was right in front of me.. duhh!) that showed 10.20 am. pastu, one of the nurses came to me and told me the surgeon dah sampai and we adjourned to OT 6. after they transfered me to the surgery bed, they strapped me and pasted the heart beat reading thingey and at that point, dr. r came back and selak my baju to see my boobies. bole tak.. dia siap asked the nurses to feel them lumps. (ceh. sungguh tak sensitif dr. r ini!) then i saw my surgeon, dr. a came in, talking on the phone very loudly.. (ape daa? this situation is sooo not grey's anatomy ok?!! haha) and lepas he hung up, i heard him said to his nurses (ke interns ke.. tah..),
dr.a: yes, we gonna removed 2 lumps..
then one of them said to me,
nurse: cik roxy, this is an oxygen mask ya..
i nodded and bole rasa dr. r injected something (anaesthetic la tuu..) and with a blink of an eye, i heard voices and when i opened my eyes, voila! i was already at the recovery bay!
roxy: dah abis ke?
nurse: eh.. dah habis dah.. (while separating the oxygen mask from my face)
i looked around me and saw a boy crying endlessly by his mom and i tried to looked at the clock oso but failed (sebab gua kan rabun..).
roxy: wat time is it now?
nurse: 11. u tunggu jap eh. jap lagi dorang hantar u masuk your room.
after a brief pause..
roxy: bole tengok menda tu tak?
nurse: oh. sure.. nah.
(then she showed me the 2 lumps yang dorang dah transfer dalam 2 botol)
eww.
nurse: kita ada amik gambar. nanti kita bagi gambar tu.
double eww.
the crying from the boy became louder and louder and i couldn't help but to asked the nurse.
roxy: kenapa budak tu nangis?
nurse: oh.. dia terkena air panas.
ouch!
amazing innit? half an hour ago i was in the OT, tiba2 dah ada kat luar. tak rasa apa-apa langsung (it's the anaesthetic you dum-dum)... but masa tu can feel a lil sengal on my left part of my body la. isk. memang amazement betol.. dah la tak ingat apa-apa lepas nurse letak oxygen mask tu. isk.
masa dorang anta balik bilik (ceh. macam best je kan.. macam hotel room lak), the nurses told me not to move around so much and just to rest and that i'm gonna stay another nite for full recovery. of course la kan, i felt exhausted and very tired out of it but tetap nak amik my mobile, to update certain people. after the smses, i fell asleep sampai ke petang, tersedar pon masa b came (since he was still on medical) wit zaes and mama.
being zaes, he was excited to see me and tried to lenjan on my bed and of course la tak leh kan. nak mampos! mau bentan if he do so ok! then came in a bouquet of flowers from the company for women and lepas borak2 lebih kurang (and mama sempat tido jap), they left and i was all alone again. at 6pm, baru la i can eat and drink again.
just before maghrib, my cousin miya & her hubby, jai, came and visit me. then billa came, with zaes on tow and i showed them the photo of my lumps and they freaked out! haha.
the next morning, as early as 6 am, the surgeon, dr. a came and check my wound. pastu he set the follow up on saturday, probably wanna check on the wound again and also to tell me the lab result of the lumps la kot. so, he told me to pantang, just eat fish and vegetables and said that i can go home and granted a full week of medical leave starting monday (the day of the surgery).
so, i was discharged on tuesday with a whopping helluva hospital bill! nasib baik la ada company benefit. eventho i have my own personal insurance, but just imagine if i don't have any of it.. how la to pay? savings pon lite-lite je... can barter trade wif my m.a.c makeup collection tak? hey.. they're worth thousands tau... hahaha.. =p
and that explains my quietness these few days. nak menaip tu, bukannya takleh.. its just that i have to consider a lot of things before i started to compose and share anything. tapi takpela. i guess sharing is caring and i chose to share my experience for the benefit of (wo)mankind.. uish. gila macam presiden..
so, camtu la. for all women out there, never take this matter lightly. always check your boobies, especially after your menses or before or just simply check them whenever you feel like it. no harm of doing so ok. and don't ever think that even if you lead a healthy life pon, it doesn't mean you won't have lumps on your breast. before tomorrow, the lumps are still non cancerous and i hope it'll stay as it is.. yes. i shivered as i write these sebab nervous nak tau the result. pray for me aite?
and i shall update soonest. insyaAllah.
meanwhile, take care yah!
ye puan-puan sekalian. inilah lumps yang telah selamat dikeluarkan dari my boobies 4 days ago. yang nampak besar tu sebab dia kuar kan daging sket. sangat eww kan? sapa yang baca blog ni time breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper, harap maaf. (ye. "dia" dah cacat sket.. uhuhuhhuuuu..)
Labels: anaesthetic, beyonce, boobies, breast lumps, fibroadenoma, greys anatomy, if i were a boy, OT, subhikarimdotcom
my new year..
my new year's eve this time was san mama
(mama was away to sis#1's house for awhile, my nieces sibuk suruh tok mama dorang tido sana before the school starts) and i know i'm gonna be bored to death, so i decided to
main masak-masak and invited my cousin miya & her hubby & her parent
(the usual suspects) over to my house for the so-called n.y.e's dinner.
knowing that
b was having a fever a nite before, i just proceed with the plan on pretext that he'll be fine sket by new year's eve. so i went to carrefour after work, beli apa yang patut, then fetch zaes at my sis' house. when i reached home, the whole house macam takde orang. it was pitch dark. rupanya hubby was really sick and couldn't get up. of course i was whining like mad sebab all the windows were closed and with the viruses lingering around, i felt the house macam stuffy sket la..
after much arguments with
b, i started to cook. my first
(wahh..) dish was my signature spirali olio. a simple one, but i love this dish to bits! simple sebab the ingredients were only olive oil and peppers
(or capsicum you might call it) and salt & pepper to taste, but i add up some chicken fillet to the dish
(and i once add some range of seafood and instead of spiralis, i used spaghettini) masa masak tu, of course la zaes came and made some noise, but since his daddy was down, terpaksa la layan dia. by then, my cousin pon sampai and i started to cooked up my second dish, which was a burger dish. not ramly burger but some salisbury steak style beefburger. damn it was good! eventho i can't make my own beefburger patties just yet, tapi bolehla to my satisfaction.. hehehh..
(i'd love to learn how to make my own patties tho.. hmm one day maybe..) and the kitchen was smoking ok! haha. sampai my uncle was very curious and keep on asking me kenapa tiba2 nak masak.. haha. tu diaa.. when you rarely
(read: tak penah) cook, macam tu la jadinya...
oh. my aunt and uncle were thoughtful enough to get
b some soup from the mamak. so, malam tu he ate a lil bit of my pasta and the soup and the cream of chicken
(thanks to campbell of course). after that he can't take it anymore.
so, after the quite and very pathetic countdown kat depan tv with them, they decided to called of the nite and went home. dat nite, i was awaken few times sebab
baby besar asyik whining sebab tak sihat. kena buat sponging kat forehead, pastu at times, he was shivering.
the next day, tengok his condition yang not so good to
(he went to the doctor earlier, tapi the doctor gave him ubat cap ayam.. not working for him), i decided to bring him to the family doctor @ss14. ingatkan nak tinggal zaes with billa, masuk bilik dia, rupanya dia pon terbongkang sakit. demam jugak but she already went to the family doctor. so, nak tanak, kena bawak zaes sekali.
dah jumpa doktor, i stopped by my sis' place
(which is just a coupla streets away from the clinic) to get the chicken soup recpe from mama. haha. masak lagi.
lepas beli barang, sampai rumah i started to cooked the chicken soup. of course, zaes interrupted once awhile, tapi berjaya jugak la masak sup itu. walaupon agak cair
(sebab kuantiti air tak sepadan dengan perencah sup peket kecik), tapi masih boleh dimakan tanpa rasa sakit perut selepas it.
later that evening,
b seemed to got back his appetite. tapi, when i started to cook the burger again - with additional dish: buttered mushroom & garlic bread -
(i invited the usual suspects again for 2nd round of the burger.. heheh..),
b felt sick again. amboih. teruk betul sakit dia.. so, he ate only half of the burger and went upstairs tido. billa pon lebih kurang je, her body was like glued to the couch dari pagi sampai malam.
so, yes.. i've been cooking
(eventho takde gambar sebagai evidence) and babysitting
b and billa. and zaes. tapi zaes is not sick. just plain notty. and it was damn tiring ok. exhausting. sangat.
as i'm typing this, i can still smell the garlic scent from my palms and body still aching from carrying zaes
(occasionally) while cooking. haha.
and since takde gambar nak share from the cookout (ke?), terimalah gambar yang takde kena mengena dengan entry ni... a childhood pic of me with mama.. =pLabels: cookout, pasta, subhikarimdotcom, zaes
